|
If you're in the wrong job, it can carry over
By JUDIT PRICE
The stresses of today's job situation are creating stronger bonds within some families. Men especially are more willing to express their feelings, sharing their fears and hopes, resulting in better relationships within the family unit. While I have seen example after example of this, the fact remains that within too many families, the opposite is occurring. Yet I believe for many people these stresses need not happen, or at least can be managed within tolerable levels. I also think the solution that can turn negative to positive is fairly straightforward to understand, but not so easy to implement. I say this because despite economic pressures, many families are OK even with those with financial worries. In fact, I see many people who are in reasonably good economic shape, but are nevertheless very unhappy. The question is why this dichotomy, with many people in good financial shape, but unhappy, and other in real trouble, but handling the challenges well with courage and fortitude. And what can they do about it? As I have noted earlier, there are many reasons for job unhappiness such as pressures for results, supervisor troubles, lack of adequate resource to do the job right and other factors that sometimes make you wonder "what am I doing here, and why am I killing myself". We have all gone through that. Let me suggest another reason. I am neither a marriage counselor, a family counselor nor a minister. But people I see want to talk about their personal lives, not just their career situation. As a result I have observed and believe that personal lives and professional lives are inextricably related, where one can severely impact the other. If there is a foundation of potential conflict, add the stress of unemployment or underemployment, or the lack of real job security, and issues bubble to the surface too frequently resulting in serious family conflict. In addressing all of these stresses, the subject of career change is inevitably a part of the discussion. For career counselors that discussion or career search process begins with a hard look at personal values. It is well-established among a considerable body of experts that strong links exist between personal values and career satisfaction. What this means is if you strip away all the factors we use to explain why a person might be unhappy at their job, there still often remains a residual conflict between personal values and career. There are many people who are working in careers in which the skill set is fine, the work situation is fine, and the economics are rewarding, but they are still miserable, with enormous carry over into their personal lives as well. Counselors understand that who you are is a reflection of what you value and those values are motivators in both work and personal life. Each of us has our own ideas about what is important. The key is balancing what is important in life with what is important in work. Achieving this balance can result in satisfaction both on and off the job, but even more importantly, it gives us the strength and capability to encounter and overcome the stresses and obstacles that we constantly face. It is unlikely that a career option will match all career and life values. However, for an occupation to be truly satisfying, it must fulfill many important personal values. The issue of values and its application to career satisfaction impacts every profession and every level within that profession. I meet with accountants, office administrators, engineers, teachers, lawyers, even the occasional doctor who are successful, but very unhappy. In many of these cases personal values and professional activities are simply incompatible, leading to high frustration and great unhappiness. It is not uncommon for people to question their own mental or emotional health, only to discover the problem is manifested because they are just in the wrong job. Self-assessment or identifying what you value can be difficult. However, friends and family can provide substantial insight, if you are willing to listen. One way to understand life values is by considering unpleasant experience, and how to avoid these experiences in the future. Unfortunately, many people only begin this process after a personal tragedy. These can lead to an examination of positive, happy experiences, and what made them good, and often begin an important process of self-examination. The subject of values is complex, because we are complex. Helping others, making money, gaining respect, the opportunity to learn, achieving career potential, exhibiting leadership are all values that have a greater or lesser degree of importance from individual to individual. Influencing others, having fun, being able to make decisions, gaining inner peace, working independently, work flexibility and a host of others are some more examples of values. All of these values and more, and the priorities to which you attach them represent a mosaic of who you are. That mosaic bears a direct and powerful relationship on career satisfaction and life satisfaction, strengthening family life and personal relationships. In addition, achieving that satisfaction can give us the inner resources and strength to endure what we inevitably have to face. Judit Price is a masters-level career guidance counselor, certified career master, international job transition coach, and a career development facilitator. She is also a principal at Berke and Price Associates, Skills for Career Services, in Chelmsford. For further Information email: Judit Price or call: 978-256-0482 |
